A SpongeBob Christmas Carol
by Night-Waker
Summary: Squidward never liked Christmas, it was just a simple fact of life. But when SpongeBob enlists in some other worldly help will Squidward lose his grumpy ways?


**Disclaimer: I own nothing. NOTHING I SAY!**

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**A/N: **_I WAS gonna wait until around December to post this, but knowing me and my slow updating habits it'd best if I did this now since I want this done on Christmas. Enjoy!_

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_We were, dreamers_

_not so long ago_

_But one by one we,_

_all had to grow up_

-_Believe_, Josh Groban

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Squidward wasn't a very big fan of Mondays, however this particular Monday seemed more unbearable than the others. Of course, everyday felt like that this time of the year. As he walked down the street the cephalopod crossed his arms. While it was mostly due to the bitter cold that was the December air biting at his skin it was also out of irritation.

Passing the stores downtown that were decorated in brightly glowing red and green lights flickering on and off softly against the falling snow, Squidward only paid them heed with his classic disapproving scowl as he passed them by. Plastered on the the store's window were advertisements of the season's most popular gift choices with joyful, grinning faces of children next to it. It didn't help his mood at all at the thought of where he was heading at the moment.

If it were up to Squidward, then he would be traveling the Seven Seas playing for sold out stadiums filled to the brim of screaming, adoring fans eager to hear his music. Even King Neptune himself would invite the squid to play for the royal family. Unfortuntly, fate didn't smile in his favor as instead he had to work at a fast-food resturant being paid barely minimum wage. It'd been this way for about twenty years now. No matter how much he tried to he just couldn't get the break he needed to escape what he called "a culture

less wasteland full of brainless dopes."

As the Krusty Krab came into view Squidward's scowl only deepened. He hated this place with every fiber of his being as it represented to him all he disliked about his life, all the crushed dreams and how he felt he was trapped at a metaphorical dead end. Still he put on his worker's hat and, sighing heavily as he hoped today would go by quickly, pushed open the front door and was immediately greeted by his co-worker's peppy voice.

_"On the fifth day of Christmas, my best friend gave to me,_

_five spatulaaaaas!"_

Said co-worker was currently standing on the other side on the room next to a small box, his spongy form turned away from Squidward as he put the finishing touches on the christmas tree located next to the cash register. He didn't notice the cephalopod enter and continued to sing his little parody of the classic song.

_"Four jellyfish,_

_Three french snails" _

Squidward groaned as he listened.

"He calls that a song?" he grumbled. He quickly regretted saying that however as the yellow sponge heard him, stopped singing and turned around.

"Squidward!" he called out cheerfully, "Merry Christmas buddy!"

"SpongeBob, Christmas isn't for another two days," Squidward said before turning his attention to the tall coral tree nearby that was practically covered from bottom in brightly colored ornaments that dangled from the branches, "What's with the tree? I thought Krabs didn't want to spend too big this year."

It was true. One of Mr. Krabs' New Year Resolutions was to spend less and decorations for holidays were no exception. Sure there were some decorations - all hand-made by SpongeBob - but all they consisted of were paper towels from the bathroom painted red and green that were hung up throughout the restaurant and sketches of presents and snowflakes plastered onto the walls.

"He didn't, but I told him he could take the cost of it out of my paycheck and he said yes! Isn't that nice of him?"

"Oh yeah, he's a walking charity," Squidward rolled his eyes sarcastically. The sarcasm was lost to the small sponge though.

"Hey, ya wanna help me decorate the tree?" SpongeBob asked as he reached inside the box he was still standing by and pulled out a small ornament, "I already did most of it but I left a few for you to hang up if you want."

"No. Now go away," the squid said, annoyed. "Aw c'mon, it'll be fun," SpongeBob persisted. Squidward simply gave him an irritated glare.

"Look all I want to do is get through this day without you constantly bothering me. Is that too much to ask?" he retorted as he made his way over to his usual spot behind the register. He pulled out the latest issue of _Fancy Living Digest _and flipped through the pages trying to block out SpongeBob, "Having to deal with this holiday nonsense is bad enough without you annoying me."

He had muttered that last sentence to himself, not expecting his co-worker to overhear.

"What could possibly be so bad about the holidays? It's the time for friends, family and Santa."

The squid simply put down the magazine and sighed, "SpongeBob, everyone knows that Christmas is just a big sham greedy corporates use to get you to spend money."

At that moment Mr. Krabs came out of his office carrying a sign.

"Mornin' lads," he said as he passed by the two. Whistling, the crimson crustacean put the sign up in the window before going back to his office. The sign read:

_Holiday Sale_

_Everything on the menu one Penny off!_

Almost immediately the resturant was filled with customers eager to get in on the sale.

"See what I mean?" Squidward asked, annoyed that his reading time had been cut short, "Now get in the kitchen."

"But Squidward-"

Squidward narrowed his eyes slighty at the small sponge, knowing what he was about to say, "SpongeBob how many times do I have to say it. I _hate _Christmas! Now get over it and go!"

And so the conversation ended and SpongeBob was shooed to the kitchen to fill orders. The rest of the day passed rather uneventfully, the only noteworthy thing being that SpongeBob was strangly quiet. Not that Squidward minded in fact he welcomed the change, however; SpongeBob was only this way because he was pondering what Squidward had said. The cephalopod had always seemed to have a grudge towards everything in his life, though it was as if he had a special hatred reserved just for Christmas. The reason way though puzzled SpongeBob to no end. To him, Christmas meant time with family, friends and a special kind of warm feeling of pure joy that only came during that time of the year A time to come together.

How could anyone be so unhappy during a time like this?

SpongeBob quickly decided to discuss this matter with who he considered to be the wisest person in the sea after work.

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"And that's what happened," SpongeBob concluded telling what had happened earlier that day to his long time friend, Patrick.

The underwater sun was just beginning to set, casting its rays across the sandy landscape and painting the sky in brilliant hues of orange colliding with purple which Patrick's rock home reflected as the sponge waited, with his hands at his sides, for his friend to respond. Patrick always had some good advice to give his spongy companion whenever he needed it. Said sea star was currently laying on top of his home, relaxing.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...Uh, Patrick?"

"..."

"Patrick?" A snore came from the top of the rock, a deep rumbling noise that caused SpongeBob to sigh. Yes Patrick gave good advice... when he actually listened.

"D'oh, Patrick! C'mon wake up! _Patrick_!" Patrick almost immediately woke up with a start, his eyes going wide. "Sea needle! Huh? Oh hey SpongeBob. What's up?"

SpongeBob groaned, becoming impatient, "You were helping me with getting Squidward to see how great Christmas is."

"Oh yeah. Well, if Squidward doesn't like Christmas then what's the big deal? He's never liked it before."

"True but... no one should be unhappy at Christmas! Even Squidward. It's like me not liking Jellyfishing or Krabby Patties, it's not possible!"

Patrick put a hand on his chin as the rare occasion of him actually thinking occurred, "Okay so, how about you sing him a song? Those usually cheer me up."

"I tried that around lunchtime today. He threw a newspaper at me," SpongeBob recalled, rubbing the area on the back of his head where the newspaper hit.

"Darn... oh! Remember that one movie we saw a long time ago with about that old guy we like to call Mr. Krabs behind his back?"

SpongeBob's expression suddenly lit up as he realized what Patrick was getting at and snapped his fingers, "Patrick that's it! If I can't get Squidward to cheer up then I'll get someone who can," he grinned, "and I know _just _the fish who can help!"

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**A/N: **_Done! This chapter was supposed to be longer but I felt that I was taking too long to write this and I **REALLY **want this done by around Christmas so I cut it in half (which also explains if it seems rushed, sorry about that :/)._

_Anyway, I know some of you are thinking: "Why is Squidward Scrooge? Why not Mr. Krabs?" Well, that was the original plan but let's face it, the only thing Scrooge and Mr. Krabs have in common is they both like money. Besides, unlike Krabs Squidward is the one who hates Christmas. So yeah, that's about it. Let me know how I did, if I kept them IC well, constructive crit. and other stuff._

_'Til then! :)_


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